To get us reflecting on our experience and how it shapes our work, master marketer Gina Carr took us through this exercise called “You-Ize – How to Create Personalized Content.” She invited us to answer a series of questions to ourselves:

Memory Lane Exploration: Childhood (0-12 years)

  • What was your favorite toy or game?
  • Describe your childhood bedroom. How did it make you feel?
  • What family traditions do you remember most fondly (birthdays, holidays, religious events)?
  • Who was your childhood hero and why?
  • What were your activities in elementary school?
  • What was your favorite TV show?
  • Are there any characters that impacted you?

As I wrote my answers, I wrote the first thing that came to mind. Then Gina invited us to reflect on our answers to see if there’s a connection to what we’re doing now.

  • My childhood hero was my dad, Edwin (Ed) H. Shutt, Jr.
  • My favorite show was M*A*S*H — every Tuesday night we watched together.
  • The character that impacted me was played by Alan Alda.

Like my dad, Alan Alda was quick-witted, brilliant and compassionate. I looked up to them both. My dad wasn’t a doctor though; by the time I arrived in his life and was conscious of his work, he was a CEO of a Fortune 500 U.S. corporation.

I always wanted to be like him, but I wasn’t like him. He was a left-brained linear thinker; I am a right-brained, relationship-oriented creative.

But reflecting on the answers, I realized that my dad and I are the same in one way – we love people and strive to see each person’s inherent dignity. My dad got to know people by engaging them in hearty discussion. Since early childhood, I watched and learned from him.

Family dinnertime and dinner parties were lively events in our house. He leaned into a good conversation, encouraged debate and often played “devil’s advocate.” He wasn’t easy on his kids. I watched and learned nonetheless. I learned that no matter the topic, no subject was off the table. He was well-read and opinionated, so he typically had plenty to add. On the occasions when he didn’t know about a topic, he’d listen and learn within the conversation.

He would lean into the conversation and let them lead. He’d listen for a point with which he could connect. From my dad I learned that because you have something to learn, you may be initially uncomfortable in the conversation but you’re safe. What I know now is that I’m safe because I have something to learn about the person and their experience. He modeled for me that every person is worthy of dignity and it’s on me to learn their story.

It’s this posture of learning and listening that allows me to feel compassion and confidence talking and working with just about anyone. Now I work with organizations and their leaders who want to be confident communicators so that they can attract and retain diverse talent.

Sadly, he’s long gone. But I get to operationalize my dad’s legacy by practicing and teaching cultural intelligence – compassion for a person within their unique context. I get to carry forward what he modeled by leaning into challenging conversations and uncovering a way to connect with each person and organization I encounter.

Dr. Amy is a speaker, author and coach. She and her team work with organizations and their leaders who want to be confident communicators so that they can attract and retain diverse talent. Click to discover more skills through Empowering Partners’ online course and executive coaching.